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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Weathering the Storms

Let us follow our destiny, ebb and flow. Whatever may happen, we master fortune by accepting it. -- Virgil

What ought one to say then as each hardship comes? I was practicing for this, I was training for this. -- Epictetus

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of. -- Jim Rohn

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There are times in each of our lives when we face crisis. Whether personal health, family issues or work-related, these challenges can be daunting. In the midst of the confusion and lack of clarity that such struggle brings it can be difficult to see a workable solution.

When you're faced with a hardship that threatens to overwhelm you, it's important to assess your situation and take necessary action.

Here's a few ways to navigate through troubling times.

What's working? Find the things that are working well for you and do more of them. It helps to see that there are still areas in which you can excel.

Focus on the actions that will get you through. The simple act of placing one foot in front of the other and dealing with each task as it arises can help you move through a crisis; sometimes the only way out is through.

Let others know what you are facing and accept the help you need. The first step toward getting what you need is to let those who care about you help. Create a support system and allow yourself to lean on it as needed.

Keep in mind that you have what it takes to get through this. Reminding yourself of other times in your life when you successfully overcame obstacles will help you remember how strong you really are.

Think about it.

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Growth is change.
Change can be uncomfortable.
Grow anyway.

Deborah Avery
New York Executive Coaching, LLC

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Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Who Are You?

Man is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when he realizes he is a creative power, and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which circumstances grow, he then becomes the rightful master of himself. -- James Allen
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Who are you? Without the identities others have projected upon you, the answer might surprise you.

Since we were children, we've been defined by others in the context of our surroundings, or our familial group. As a child perhaps you were the smart one, or the pretty one. Maybe you were considered the funny one or the peacemaker, or even the troublemaker.

Although we've all had labels placed upon us at an early age in the very small universe of our families and schoolmates, we are much more than the identity we had at the age of eight, or eighteen. We are not what others think of us nor are we limited to the meager range of possibility that such a restrictive label provides.

As we move through our lives we get to define ourselves; each choice we make is a chance to honor our authenticity and discover the depth of our untapped resources. When we act in accordance with our deepest beliefs and desires we enable our unique abilities to develop and thrive.

Discovering who you really are will add to the fullness of your life and your work. Think about it.

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Growth is change.
Change can be uncomfortable.
Grow anyway.
Deborah Avery
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© New York Executive Coaching 2008

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You Can't Teach a Pig to Sing

It takes two to speak truth - One to speak, and another to hear. -- Henry David Thoreau

We've all heard the expression "You can't teach a pig to sing." Perhaps you never gave it much thought before, but let's look at one possible interpretation. Pigs are intelligent animals but they lack the fundamental physical attributes that would enable them to sing. They can grunt, squeal, and they excel at sniffing out truffles, but you can't teach 'em to sing, no matter how hard you try.

There's a corollary here for the rest of us. Even if we don't waste time trying to teach pigs to sing, we've all been guilty of expending time and energy in trying to convince someone of the folly of a course of action or the shortcomings of a plan being implemented. Often, we find ourselves working with others (either our bosses or direct reports) who are unable to grasp the inevitable consequences that will result because of their actions.

At times like these we have a choice. In the case of a direct report we can generally circumvent their actions and minimize disruption. When we incorporate some retraining and appropriate follow-up it can be a wonderful opportunity for growth and learning.

When it's the CEO, or the Grand High Exalted Pooh bah who can't see the flaw in his plan, our options are limited, but we can still do damage control with our direct reports and others who are negatively impacted. Even though our "marching orders" may drive us into a raging sea, some careful planning on our part can have lifeboats at the ready, and a course pre-plotted to navigate us out of the storm. Think about it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Growth is change.
Change can be uncomfortable.
Grow anyway.
Deborah Avery
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© New York Executive Coaching 2008

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